Thursday, July 31, 2008

Project Runway Recap:Holla at Cha Boy...?

This week, Project Runway Season 5 progresses with lame catch phrase attempts, flashy rain gear, and, er, Sandra Bernhardt? Warning: Spoilers ahead!The best and worst (according to the judges)

After seeing last weeks previews for this episode, which involved heaps of trash-talk and Tim Gunn leading an army of designers in rain gear through New York City, I hoped for some elaborate team challenge where the designers must create a couture gown made entirely of plastic poncho material in the middle of Times Square (or, um, something like that...). I was slightly disappointed to find the challenge to not be so extreme, but no worries, it was still very fun.

The episode started out with the easiest, most undramatic model selection by Suede, the annoying blue fauxhawk (please excuse my use of the term, fauxhawk) sporting, third person speaking guy. The designers then head back to their swanky Atlas apartments (seriously, do they really need to show a shot of the building logo every time) and wait for Tim Gunn who, apparently, is taking them for a night on the town.

If there's anything I've learned from watching countless hours of reality television competition shows, "a night on the town" never actually translates to an actual night on the town. Tim arrives and announces that they will be taking a double-decker-tour-bus ride, despite the rainy weather. He then distributes a plethora of plastic ponchos and bright wellies (!) for all, while, I might add, looking quite smug (or according to Blayne, 'licious. -shudder-)in a black trench.

Most of our contestants are riding around, positively giddy, while some are not. Korto worries of the fate of her hair in the slightly torrential downpour (don't worry, I can relate) and Blayne wishes he was all dolled up for a real night on the town.

The contests are then told that their challenge is to take pictures of New York City nightlife (gasp! how different! what a surprise!) and create an outfit inspired by a photo of their choice. We then undergo yawn-worthy footage of the designers taking photos in the locations they're dropped off at in groups. Meanwhile, Blayne tries to make another slightly successful attempt at being this season's token character by looking for a tanning salon in the middle of Times Square,while Suede fails when he refers to himself in the third person. Among other things, Stella doesn't understand how a camera works; we're not surprised.

Back at Parsons, we're slightly frightened (and entertained) when Blayne scrunches up his face and exclaims to Kenley, the super cute girl with the lovely red lipstick and swoon-worthy hairpieces, that he is going to eat her, but I think he looks more suited to be food with his utter resemblance to a carrot. Kenley reacts by trash talking about...Emily (the obvious reaction, of course), the hipster girl with and "edgy" haircut and plethora of hippie headbands. Perhaps there's too many hair accessories in the room for Kenley to handle? I think he looks more suited to be food with his resemblance to a carrot. Meanwhile, Stella, obsessed with leather, hammers away.
Tim makes his usual rounds to check up on the designers, where he attempts to relate to the younger, slightly "urban" contestants. “Holler at your boy? Holler? Holler? I don’t get it.” Blayne then clarifies that it's "Holla at cha boy, dawg!" -shudder-.
During the commercial break, viewers can answer the question we're all dying to know the answer to: Should "Holla at cha boy" be Tim's new catchphrase?. In case you really were dying to know, 87% said no. So, I guess that means about 3 of the entire 20 viewers with horrible judgement to begin with (they did pay 99 cents per text message, after all) thought that "Make it work" was getting a bit stale.

I envy her
After the high of having a real celebrity judge, Natalie Portman, during last week's runway show, we were sorely disappointed that the producers turned to the E-list (yep, worse than the D-list) and appointed supposed comedian Sandra Bernhardt. Apparently, being a part of the New York nightlife comedy circuit a couple of times qualifies her as a fashion judge? Does this woman even own anything other than a pantsuit? Does she have a chronic disease and the Make-a-Wish foundation now caters to adults,thus deciding to provide her with her dream of being a Project Runway judge? One can only wonder...

(oh, and whats with your hair?)
The runway show was a bit disappointing. Blayne and Keith both present us with dresses reminiscent of something constructed in home ec. Jerrell presents a green tiered gown that really isn't suited for a night on the town and looks reminiscent of medieval princess costumes of Halloweens past.
Kenley, with her cute, 80s inspired turtleneck dress, Terri's flowy frock and pants ensemble, and Leannes sculptural black skirt and top are on top, while Emily, Keith, and Jennifer are on the bottom.

It comes down to Emily and Jennifer. I secretly like Jennifer's clock inspired dress, even if the judges disagree (it's kind of reminds me of Erin Fetherston...for Target, at least), and am glad that Emily is the one auf'd.

You're superhero headwear
will not save you now, Emily.

Well, until next time, folks, holla at cha boy! I'm sorry, I promise never to say that again...

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