Project Runway Recap: This Show is Driving ME Crazy

I know, dear reader, you're probably thinking "Where are your Project Runway recaps? Huh? I want to hear your slightly witty banters on drag queens in sequin sailor suits and cocktail numbers constructed entirely out of seatbelts! Give me my recaps, woman, or else."


Or, most likely, you're thinking "Hmm, she hasn't posted a Project Runway Recap in a while...oh boy, I never realized how many bagel crumbs there are on my keyboard...crap, I forgot to return Definitely, Maybe to Blockbuster..."

Can we all just direct our attention to the way  Tim looks in this picture? I heart him.

I'm suffering a mild case of the Project Runway blues, so I thought I'd take a little break from the recaps. Don't fret though, here is an absolutely hilarious recap for those of you who missed it. Now that Keith and his annoying feel-sorry-for-me-I-live-in-Utah attitude are gone, I might be able to return next week with my most vibrant recap ever.

P.S. Tim Gunn recently described Miley Cyrus' style as "too tarty." Yet another reason why we love you, Tim (No, I do not read Page Six all day. I found this on the Best Week Ever Blog, thank you very much).

Dear Madewell 1937,

Please, stop toying with my emotions. I am just a kid, for crying out loud. Why must you show me this extremely lovely lookbook of things I can't have or afford? Yes, I get it, you make the most insanely perfect boots ever. Your scarves are a thing of beauty, I know.

Stop being so darn effortlessly chic and cool like the J.Crew little sister that you are. You see that little smirk the model, above, is sporting? That smirk says "Yep, that's right. I get to WEAR these clothes and you, Gabby, cannot because you live in Someplace, Somewhere, where they do not have a Madewell 1937. I'm pretty sure sunshine is just about to radiate out of my tush any second now because I am just so darn happy to be wearing this perfect schoolboy blazer, not to mention get my picture taken with it. Now, excuse me while I go change into my expertly washed denim that you can't have."

You're launching an online shop soon, says the huge message when we enter your site. Until you get your act together, Madewell, I will scrimp and save my meager allowance for a trip to your nearest location. In which case, my monthly income of $0.57 will barely pay for me to back out of the driveway. Great, now I've wasted my valuable afternoon writing you this letter. I could have been digging through sofa cushions for coins or selling lemonade.

Sincerely,

Gabby

P.S. We could easily clear up all of this tension if you sent me a skinny patent belt in either red or yellow, or any color, for that matter. I'm not picky. Oh and if you threw in a pair of yellow ankle boots in a size 7.5, that would just be dandy.

The Sisterhood of The Traveling Pantsuit

This is an urgent live post. As I'm sitting here at the computer, absentmindedly searching through itunes, my father is watching CNN in the background. My attention is grabbed by the fact that Hillary Clinton is sporting a NEON ORANGE PANTSUIT.
I would just like to be put on the record as the first person to document this fact.

I'm wondering if this is an attempt to direct our attention towards her, because, if so, it's working. She is grabbing our attention like a neon traffic cone. "Stop, look at me. I will go about saying I'm all for Obama, but the truth is I want you all to look at me in all of my shiny, orange glory!"

Or maybe when Blayne mentioned creating a neon pantsuit for her a few weeks back on Project Runway, she took him up on it?

Or perhaps she's actually being a comedic genious and playing up the thousands of pantsuits remarks shes gained throughout her career? In which case, we applaud her.


Update:She just used the phrase "Sisterhood of The Traveling Pantsuits." We are dying. Dying.

Even Better Update (8/28): -speechless-

I Always Wanted To Be a Tenenbaum

That's right, dear reader, I finally saw The Royal Tenenbaums. I know what most of you who are thinking: "Puh-lease. Who does this kid think she is? Doesn't she know that that movie has
been out for like ever? Hasn't she realized everyone has seen it? Oh, and has she not heard about this?"

It's just that I made this plan to become more culturally educated where I would spend the entire summer watching movies and reading books I had always wanted to see, but never had.

After one week of that, I somehow ended up in a very non-culturally educating environment that consisted of watching the Food Network for hours on end and reading the entire Twilight series.

Now, summer's almost over and I've decided that my knowledge of that cream shouldn't be whipped in a metal bowl or that male vampires can get human women pregnant (I know, I know, shocking, isn't it?) isn't going to get me far. I need to at least make a tiny dent in my list.

So, after watching The Royal Tenenbaums, I have deemed it the greatest movie.EVER (well, besides Crossroads, starring Britney Spears, of course*). I'm pretty sure I even loved more than The Darjeeling Limited, and that's saying a lot. Not to mention, I think Margot has become my official style icon.

I give The Royal Tenenbaums 6 out of 5 cupcakes. That's right, 6 out of 5. It's just that special.

*Sarcasm, folks. Sheesh.

P.S. Watch the trailer for this film. It will warm your heart.

Magic Hoop

Is it weird that I kind of want that kid's dress?

_Insert Every Single Synonym For Cute Here_

Via Copenhagen Street Style.

We Interrupt Our Neglectful Blogging For a Not-So-Important Update

Alright, alright, I know, I'm somewhat of a blogging disappointment right now. No, I haven't fallen into a giant tub of frosting or broke ankle in an attempt to wear heels for the first time, thank you for asking. I've just been busy doing really important stuff like eating Whoppers, manuevering over volcano-like formations in the middle of Pinkberry (no joke, dear reader, the floor started cracking and settling as I was enjoying my swirly goodness), and elbowing my way through angry European tourists for a $1 Marc Jacobs hairpin.

Also, my sister just had to go to college, thus taking away my only cord to upload pictures with her (HI LYD). No worries, though, a quick trip to Target and things will be back to normal around here.

In the meantime, we're coveting this LOMO Diana F+ camera, above, available at the amazingness that is fredflare.com. Yes, it's not digital, but that's okay, it instantly turns all of your photos into a piece of art and just look how darn cute it is.

Sock It To Me

Coveting socks is not commonly a problem in my life. Seriously, dear reader, have you ever seen a pair of socks and thought to yourself "Wow, those are just...breathtaking. I absolutely need them" Yeah, I didn't think so. Unless, that is, you've been unlucky enough to experience frostbite, in which case, I bet socks were all you could think about...

So, as I was perusing the legwear selection of urbanoutfitters.com, I experienced sock envy when I stumbled upon these lovely specimens, below.

These socks, by Betsey Johnson, can take your ankles from,well, ankles to graceful ballerina limbs in the time it takes to tie them. I can just imagine wearing them with some colored tights underneath and a pair of black flats, while annoying everyone around me as I poorly attempt a pirouet in the middle of the hallway.

They're are available at urbanoutfitters.com for $12. Yes, $12 for socks is a bit pricey for a kid like me, with a weekly income of $0.32, but considering that they technically are Betsey Johnson-and don't say something along the lines of "for Target" after her name- and that they can enable me to channel my inner ballerina without all the hassle of enrolling in dance class, then I would call that $12 dollars well spent.

P.S. Please ignore my seriously bad attempt at a pun in the title of this post. Thank you.

Project Runway Recap: Jungle Boogie

This week, Project Runway continues with a challenge fit for the jungle (the Lipstick Jungle, that is), Brooke Shields, and an outfit of "slutty, slutty, slutty!" proportions. Spoilers ahead!The best and worst (according to the judges).

Our episode begins with some rather unnecessary footage of the designers working out in the Atlas gym. Seriously, Bravo, if you're reading this, I don't care that Daniel can pump some iron in his plaid pants or that Suede can manage to break a sweat while keeping his fauxhawk intact. I just don't.

Anyways, we continue on to the model picking process, which, dear reader, if you ask me, is not what it used to be. What happened to the little black bag with those oversized nametag buttons? Heidi announces to the designers that their challenge is to create a look for a "high-powered and glamorous professional woman."

Blayne speculates that is could be Hillary Clinton, in which case he would be eliminated for creating a neon pantsuit. Stella stresses that she would love to dress Sharon Osbourne, which does not surprise us one bit.

It's finally revealed that the guest judge is Brooke Shields! Finally, a judge we can all look at and recognize (No offense to Apollo Ohno, but we were all thinking " Oh, hey, look it's that guy from the Olympics. What is he a tennis player or something? And, um, Sandra Bernhardt? Wasn't she on Will & Grace that one time?). The designers learn that they must create a day-to-night look for Shields' character, Wendy, on Lipstick Jungle.

The kids get to sketching and then present their concepts to Shields in the "Project Runway Lounge." Isn't that the room where the designers eat? Now it's the "Project Runway Lounge?" Oh, those darn producers, what will they think of next?

Brooke seems to be fond of the all of the designer's looks, even Blayne's day-to-night Bermuda short (an oxymoron? possibly...) and Kelli's super tight leopard sheath, which, according to Brooke,"It's the jungle! It's the juuuuunnngle!"

We cannot contain our excitement when the oversized nametag buttons make a comeback when Tim reveals that six designs have been chosen by Brooke, which means the designers must work in teams. Keith snaps up Kenley to work with him, which means one can only assume they've resolved their differences since the Times Square smackdown a couple of episodes back. Blayne enthusiastically picks Leanne and we can just feel how frightened she is behind those geek-chic glasses.

"You see this ponytail I'm sporting, Leanne?

It means business."

Of course, Stella is picked last, by Jerrell, because we all know this woman is only capable of creating a leatha vest. Ironically, Jerrell plans on using leather in his ensemble and the only thing we can think of is "Maybe the judges will just kill to birds with one stone and eliminate these two at once."

"That's a really nice man dress you're wearing, Jerell.

I wish it was leatha, though."

The designers head over to Mood and the drama ensues. Keith and Kenley cannot compromise which tacky floral print will suit his tacky design. Daniel behaves like the annoying girl that he is and doesn't have the guts to say to Kelli "NO! SHINY LEOPARD PLUS BLACK LACE PLUS A SKINTIGHT BLACK PENCIL SKIRT DOES NOT EVER EQUAL "HIGH-POWERED GLAMOROUS BUSINESS WOMAN"! THAT EQUALS WORKING GIRL." Or to put it simply in the words of Michael Kors, "Slutty, slutty, slutty!"

Suede and Terri cannot agree on their flowy top. Terri has a bit of a freakout that's so crude, I feel a tad bit dirty just mentioning it here.

Tim returns to the studio with a bit of news that calms that madness: the winning team's ensemble will be worn by Brooke Shields on Lipstick Jungle.

Everyone is so excited by the thought of their outfit being worn on national television that I think they begin to forget the entire point of Project Runway- a national television show, ahem.

Besides, after seeing the promo during the commercial break for Lipstick Jungle, I am quickly reminded why I never bothered to watch it.It is simply a Cashmere Mafia copycat, which, if you remember correctly, was (or is? Is it still even on the air?) supposed to be the network television attempt at Sex and The City, which was a show that I always seemed to be slightly annoyed by in the first place ( I just never was able to see the appeal in whole "Let's drink cosmos at brunch and carry designer handbags while we pretend to be intellectual and complain about our sucky relationships," concept. So basically, Lipstick Jungle is the twice watered down version of a show I didn't really like in the first place...

Anyways, on to the runway show. Did anyone else catch right before the show when Tim says "I see some of you are still sewing question mark?" Oh Tim, how we love you so exclamation mark!

Is it just me, or was the runway show utterly disappointing. Jerrell and Stella's and Keith and Kenley's seemed to be the best, but, honestly, if I saw someone wearing either in real life I'd probably say to myself "Hmm...I bet she bought that dress on clearance at Sears."

Kelli and Daniel are obviously in the bottom, along with Blayne and Leanne. Seriously, Leanne, how did you let Blayne create such an ensemble that resembles something a camp counselor, who's going out clothes were mauled by a grizzly bear and all she has left is a string of pearls and some heels to dress up her otherwise boring uniform, would wear to a night on the town.

Daniel tries to defend his outfit by saying he has "impeccable taste," which causes Kenley to laugh out loud right there, in front of the judges. Do we sense trouble ahead between these super BFFs?

Kelli: "You totally deserved to go home.

After this annoying Bravo photographer is finished,

we're gonna go outside and I'm going to show you who's boss."

Daniel: " Please, my taste is impeccable and

so are my arm muscles that I've been working on in the Atlas gym."

In the end, Kelli is auf'd. We are incredibly sad because she has always had excellent designs up to this point, but Daniel on the other hand...

No worries, though, dear reader. Next week: Drag-queens! Lots of scary, gaudy drag-queens and the scary, gaudy costumes that come with them! Ooh we can't wait exclamation point!

American Dream or Silly Scheme?

I'm sure you might have heard, dear reader, that Tyra Banks is posing as Michelle Obama in the September issue of Harper's Bazaar in a shoot entitled "American Dream." The photos include Banks posing with a faux Senator Barack Obama in different scenarios worthy of a first lady. See for yourself, below.

Personally, I find this spread to be, well, a bit creepy. Prancing around with Obama children lookalikes? Lying in bed with a Harvard sweatshirt on? We know Tyra had good intentions of showing her support through the photos and the interview, but I believe the timing is off in several ways. First of all, with the recent ads targeted towards Obama by Senator John McCain, which ask "He's the biggest celebrity in the world, but is he ready to lead?," I find it not exactly in the Obama's favor for a supermodel/TV personality to be portraying them.

Secondly, I think this spread should have been reserved for after the presidential elections, if Obama were to win. Or, at the very least, when he is officially named the Democratic nominee.

The interview mainly consists of Tyra sharing her tips for a future first lady and what she would do. Honestly, dear reader, I'm not very concerned with how Tyra Banks thinks a first lady should dress ,what her reaction was when she found out Sen. Obama was the Democratic nominee, or what her Secret Service Acronym would be ("KMFA: Kiss My Fat Ass," if you must know).

I don't know about you, but what I would like to know is how Michelle Obama or Cindy McCain, the actual potential first ladies, feel towards issues like female body image in today's society or what they plan to achieve if their husbands are elected. For me, seeing these women in the magazine and reading their thoughts would have been much more influential than a supermodel basically playing dress-up.

What are your opinions, dear reader? I would love to know.

Coconut Lime Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting

I'm am extremely excited to share this recipe with you, dear reader. Why, you may ask? Well, it's because I created it on my own. That's right, we decided to stop obeying the man (or woman? Or,er, cupcake gods? I'm not really sure where this is headed...) and create our own recipe. Okay, actually we followed a vanilla cupcake recipe and added lime, swapped the coconut milk for milk, and reduced the vanilla.

In other words, I did the dirty work for you. Now, when all your adoring friends ask where you found this scrumptious little cupcake recipe you can tell them "Oh, this lovely little girl over on the blogosphere named Gabby." Actually, no, don't say that. I hate when people say "blogosphere," it kind of makes me feel like blogging is some club where awkward men who still live with their mothers watch Battlestar Galactica and drink juice boxes (not that there's anything wrong with that...).

Coconut-Lime Cupcakes

+1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

+1 teaspoon baking powder

+1/2 teaspoon salt

+1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened

+1 cup sugar

+2 large eggs

+Coconut milk (about 1/2 a can, more on this later)

+2 tablespoons fresh squeezed lime juice

+1 teaspoon vanilla extract

+zest of 1 lime

1.Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line cupcake pans with cupcake papers.

2. Sift the flour, baking powder, and salt into a bowl. Set aside.

3. In the bowl of an electric mixer, cream the butter and sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy, about 2 to 3 minutes.

4.Add the eggs one at a time, beating until well incorporated.

5. Add the half of the flour mixture to the butter mixture.

6. Pour the 2 tablespoons of lime juice into a 1 cup measuring cup. Then, fill the cup with coconut milk until it reaches the 3/4 cup mark.

7. Add the coconut milk mixture to the butter mixture.

8. Add the remaining flour mixture.

9.Add the vanilla and lime zest.

10.Spoon the batter into the prepared cups until about two-thirds full.

11.Bake 20-22 minutes or until the tops spring back when lightly touched.

12.Cool cupcakes in pans for 10 minutes. Remove from pans and cool completely on a wire rack.

Coconut Cream Cheese Frosting

+1 bar cream cheese

+1/2 cup (1 stick) butter

+2 cups confectioners sugar

+1-2 teaspoons coconut milk

1. In a medium bowl, beat the cream cheese and butter with an electric mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy, 1 to 2 minutes.

2.On low speed, add 1 cup of sugar, then a teaspoon of coconut milk. Increase speed to medium, and mix completely. Add remaining cup of sugar and remaining coconut milk if necessary.

3.Increase speed to high, and mix until the frosting is fluffy and reaches a good consistency for spreading.

Toasted Coconut

+about 1 1/2 cups shredded coconut.

1.Preheat oven to 350 degrees

2.Spread coconut on a baking pan.

3.Toast for about 6-8 minutes until golden brown on the edges.

Assembly

1. Spread frosting on cooled cupcakes.

2.Top with toasted coconut and additional lime zest.

Project Runway Recap: Project Run-away

This week, Project Runway Season 5 continues with a challenge of patriotic proportions, a mild case of tanorexia, and a skort that earns praise from the judges (A sign of the apocalypse? maybe). Spoilers ahead!

The best and worst (according to the judges).

After 4 episodes,the red lipstick, tans, and leatha vests are coming off as the designers are dropping like flies. For this week's challenge, the designers are shuttled off into vans with Tim Gunn to a "mystery" location. While Kelli crosses her fingers in hopes that the challenge doesn't have to do with hospitals (yeah, we don't know where she got that idea, either), Blayne reveals his tanning habits (every other day, if you must know), his self-proclaimed hobby, to Tim Gunn. Blayne is really growing on me, especially since he has seemed to drop the "-licious" act, but I'd just really wish he'd do me a favor and slather on some SPF 50.

The designers arrive at their "mystery" location, an indoor track (yawn). Suddenly, an unidentified man appears to be skating at lighting fast speeds along the track (In Stella's deep words,"There was this speed racer, racing all around the ring"). Who could it be? My, oh, my, it's Olympian Apollo Ohno! If these kids want to know anything about winning a competition, they better listen to this guy, he's a Gold medalist and Dancing With The Stars champion (no, they did not mention that on the show. I just happen to, er, watch Dancing With The Stars...), after all. Oh-no (sorry, I just had to), do we sense an athletic inspired challenge ahead? Yep,Tim explains to the designers that their challenge is to create an ensemble for the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics. I'm slightly saddened by this. If you remember,dear reader, I'm not quite fond of sports, but that's alright because none of these designers seem to be athletic, either.

No worries, though. Joe is super excited for a challenge that can relate to his roots (a.k.a. driving his children to soccer practice). Blayne exclaims "Heck, yeah, I'm going for the gold!" Super-hipster Leanne reveals her cheerleading past. Jennifer plans on making an outfit inspired by track and field competitions of the 20s. And Stella, um, decides to go "gladiator!"

So, tell me Joe, how long did it take to grow that goatee?

After an inspiring tour around an Olympic history exhibit, the designers head to Mood. Tensions rise when the oh-so-annoying Keith steals Terri's fabric and then tries to downplay the situation with a poor attempt at innocence. In Terri's words,"A sista got to keep one eye open, that’s all I’m saying.” Ooh, we can just feel the drama stirring up in that pot we like to call designer stew.

Back at Parsons, drama arises again when Kenley and Daniel decide to have some fun. The other designers cannot stand the constant...giggling? The nerve of those two. How dare they laugh, haven't they heard you are only allowed to moan, complain, and trash-talk in the workroom? It gets worse when Daniel apparently "steals" Joe's lucky machine. God forbid someone interrupt the crafting of your skort, Joe.

Kenley + Daniel

= BFF.

On a lighter note, we get to experience more of the sheer entertainment that is Tim Gunn and Blayne conversing. Blayne just does not understand Tim Gunn's Sergeant Pepper reference to his outfit, resulting in Tim exclaiming "Oh, God, youth!" Don't worry, Tim, I fully understood your reference. Blayne's brain has just be fried by the sun.

On to the the runway! Ohno is the guest judge for this week, and we really don't care that he's an Olympic athlete, just as long as he's not Sandra Bernhardt. The runway show appears to be less than that and more of a fourth of July parade. Daniel, Kenley, and Suede all provide lovely cocktail worthy ensembles that are really not opening ceremony material. Leanne's jacket and shorts combo is brilliant and completely overlooked by the judges. Stella presents a rather unflattering, belly baring look that she claims was inspired by "all of the bikers that watch the Olympics."

In the end, Terri's chic jacket, top, and pant combo, Joe's skort (ick), and Korto's vest and pants ensemble are on top. Daniel, who's ensemble Michael Kors thinks looks more like it represents "The Republic of Cocktail Land" rather than America , Jerrell, with a horrific fiasco that looks like he walked into the Fourth of July decor clearance at his local Walmart, bought everything they had, and created an outfit, and Jennifer's cute, but boring, un-olympic look are on the bottom.

Model: Yawn. So, what's this challenge? Meeting my boyfriend's parents for the first time?


In the end, Korto wins with her look that is the perfect mix of sporty and chic. It comes down to Daniel and Jennifer (although, I think Jerrell's was positively atrocious). In the end, Jennifer is auf'd. I really did like her Holly Golightly-Dali approach and wish I could see more, but it seemed she continuously delivered boring instead of the surreal she promised.

I don't know about you, dear reader, but I'm getting dangerously bored with these gimmicky challenges. Next week: Brooke Shields! Somebody get Kenley a muzzle! We can't wait!

What were your thoughts on this week's episode?

Pitcher This

Remember how we discussed reusable water bottles last week? Well, I just found this lovely specimen from fredflare.com for $14.

Now I can't choose which one; the bottle that makes a statement, or the one that looks pretty. What do you think, dear reader?

Can an ice cream cone solve the global climate crisis?

The answer to that question is no (well, probably not), but that doesn't mean an ice cream cone can't help. You're probably really,really confused, dear reader, and I don't blame you. So, let me explain myself.

This past weekend, as I was taking in the fresh ocean air of the beach, I decided to get some ice cream. Nothing wrong with that, right? So I ordered my favorite peanut butter soft serve in a cup. I thought nothing of this and feasted away. The very (very) sad time came when I had finished my cup of deliciousness.

Absentmindedly, I walked to the trashcan and disposed of the paper cup and plastic spoon. This is a when a thought crossed my mind: "If I had ordered that in an ice cream cone, there would have virtually been nothing to throw away, only to end up in a landfill."

So, my green tip for this week is, order your ice cream in a cone. This is most likely the easiest (and tastiest) way to be a little more eco-friendly. And if you find yourself worrying about calories from a cone, just remind yourself you're doing you're part to reduce waste. Now, as for the calories from the whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and sprinkles? That excuse is up to you.

The Quirky & Co. Book Club

I have never been a part of a book club. From my excessive (and, boy, do I mean excessive) television viewing habit, I have come to assume that most book club meetings consist of (usually) a bunch of women sitting around who only came for the snacks and didn't actually read the book.

Dear reader, I know that you are much more intelligent than these said women, even though you probably really enjoy snacks.So, I propose that the super brainy readers of this blog (which means all of you, of course) come together for a book club. Except, I think it really needs a better name than book club. How about "The Let's Read Really Good Books and Be Soooo Much Smarter Than Everyone Else Club(or not...)? Any suggestions?


Here are some books I'm interested in reading:









Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
by David Sedaris.

I Was Told There'd be Cake

by Sloane Crosley

The Perks of Being a Wallflower
by Stephen Chbosky
















If you are interested in joining or have a book suggestion, please leave a comment!

P.S. Unfortunately, our book club will not have snacks -sigh-. There are just some things the Internet will never be able to do...