Project Runway Recap: Project Run-away

This week, Project Runway Season 5 continues with a challenge of patriotic proportions, a mild case of tanorexia, and a skort that earns praise from the judges (A sign of the apocalypse? maybe). Spoilers ahead!

The best and worst (according to the judges).

After 4 episodes,the red lipstick, tans, and leatha vests are coming off as the designers are dropping like flies. For this week's challenge, the designers are shuttled off into vans with Tim Gunn to a "mystery" location. While Kelli crosses her fingers in hopes that the challenge doesn't have to do with hospitals (yeah, we don't know where she got that idea, either), Blayne reveals his tanning habits (every other day, if you must know), his self-proclaimed hobby, to Tim Gunn. Blayne is really growing on me, especially since he has seemed to drop the "-licious" act, but I'd just really wish he'd do me a favor and slather on some SPF 50.

The designers arrive at their "mystery" location, an indoor track (yawn). Suddenly, an unidentified man appears to be skating at lighting fast speeds along the track (In Stella's deep words,"There was this speed racer, racing all around the ring"). Who could it be? My, oh, my, it's Olympian Apollo Ohno! If these kids want to know anything about winning a competition, they better listen to this guy, he's a Gold medalist and Dancing With The Stars champion (no, they did not mention that on the show. I just happen to, er, watch Dancing With The Stars...), after all. Oh-no (sorry, I just had to), do we sense an athletic inspired challenge ahead? Yep,Tim explains to the designers that their challenge is to create an ensemble for the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics. I'm slightly saddened by this. If you remember,dear reader, I'm not quite fond of sports, but that's alright because none of these designers seem to be athletic, either.

No worries, though. Joe is super excited for a challenge that can relate to his roots (a.k.a. driving his children to soccer practice). Blayne exclaims "Heck, yeah, I'm going for the gold!" Super-hipster Leanne reveals her cheerleading past. Jennifer plans on making an outfit inspired by track and field competitions of the 20s. And Stella, um, decides to go "gladiator!"

So, tell me Joe, how long did it take to grow that goatee?

After an inspiring tour around an Olympic history exhibit, the designers head to Mood. Tensions rise when the oh-so-annoying Keith steals Terri's fabric and then tries to downplay the situation with a poor attempt at innocence. In Terri's words,"A sista got to keep one eye open, that’s all I’m saying.” Ooh, we can just feel the drama stirring up in that pot we like to call designer stew.

Back at Parsons, drama arises again when Kenley and Daniel decide to have some fun. The other designers cannot stand the constant...giggling? The nerve of those two. How dare they laugh, haven't they heard you are only allowed to moan, complain, and trash-talk in the workroom? It gets worse when Daniel apparently "steals" Joe's lucky machine. God forbid someone interrupt the crafting of your skort, Joe.

Kenley + Daniel

= BFF.

On a lighter note, we get to experience more of the sheer entertainment that is Tim Gunn and Blayne conversing. Blayne just does not understand Tim Gunn's Sergeant Pepper reference to his outfit, resulting in Tim exclaiming "Oh, God, youth!" Don't worry, Tim, I fully understood your reference. Blayne's brain has just be fried by the sun.

On to the the runway! Ohno is the guest judge for this week, and we really don't care that he's an Olympic athlete, just as long as he's not Sandra Bernhardt. The runway show appears to be less than that and more of a fourth of July parade. Daniel, Kenley, and Suede all provide lovely cocktail worthy ensembles that are really not opening ceremony material. Leanne's jacket and shorts combo is brilliant and completely overlooked by the judges. Stella presents a rather unflattering, belly baring look that she claims was inspired by "all of the bikers that watch the Olympics."

In the end, Terri's chic jacket, top, and pant combo, Joe's skort (ick), and Korto's vest and pants ensemble are on top. Daniel, who's ensemble Michael Kors thinks looks more like it represents "The Republic of Cocktail Land" rather than America , Jerrell, with a horrific fiasco that looks like he walked into the Fourth of July decor clearance at his local Walmart, bought everything they had, and created an outfit, and Jennifer's cute, but boring, un-olympic look are on the bottom.

Model: Yawn. So, what's this challenge? Meeting my boyfriend's parents for the first time?


In the end, Korto wins with her look that is the perfect mix of sporty and chic. It comes down to Daniel and Jennifer (although, I think Jerrell's was positively atrocious). In the end, Jennifer is auf'd. I really did like her Holly Golightly-Dali approach and wish I could see more, but it seemed she continuously delivered boring instead of the surreal she promised.

I don't know about you, dear reader, but I'm getting dangerously bored with these gimmicky challenges. Next week: Brooke Shields! Somebody get Kenley a muzzle! We can't wait!

What were your thoughts on this week's episode?